Heart-gut

The heart whispers while the stomach is churning,

The gut is yearning to be heard.

The head overrides with the rational and logical

Forgetting that decisions are not that methodical.

No decision is A to B.

Traffic jams of feelings and detours of emotions

Veer the mind off course, forcing C, D and E to present themselves.

Delving further into the quandary; encompassing all and sundry.

Exposing the landscape that is this problem and revealing the many roads through it.

The heart-gut is tumbling, tumbling out of control.

Tricked into believing the worst-case possibility is the actual reality.

Dread spreads through the abdomen.

Mind is a-panicking.

Trapped in the thought of ultimate dislike.

Instant relief that none of it was true.

Just an imagination running wild.

The decision was made, and in the heart-gut’s favour.

The brain was the savour, for once.

Alone is not lonely

Alone is not lonely.

Solitude is not synonymous with loneliness.

I am not lost at sea but taking my time.

Why is a time-out a punishment and not a haven?

Block out the falderal, chatter, prattle, carbon dioxide for a moment’s breath

And think of nothing.

Answer to no one.

Forget you are someone.

Unchain from the tick-tock.

Until you are content. 

Long term

A wedding may need a bride

But a marriage makes a wife.

Why focus on one day

And not invest in a whole life?

Being first may be fun

But it is far worse waiting for everyone else

To catch

Up

Boredom prevails and any victory goes stale.

Rushing a journey

May make the destination arrive quicker.

But a lifetime’s experience

Will reduce to a flicker.

Satiate the now

For the potential of never.

There is no point in the future

If today is the forever.  

The longer the term the more that is earned.

The shorter the term the more likely a return. 

Back to school feeling

That back to school feeling.

The nights are slowly creeping in and the mornings are fresher.

Condensation is forming on my windows in the morning

And the thought of autumn is slowly dawning.

The summer is admitting defeat and has to greet the winter’s chill.

Gone is the thrill of the holidays and now is the time of hibernation

And black tights.

Electric lights illuminate my dreary drudge from central heating to central heating.

Nature’s heat waves now seem like a fleeting moment that I didn’t fully appreciate.

Why am I never prepared for the inevitable change in climate?

Why only now do I regret not being outdoors as much and such?

Oh, silly fool

It’s just that back to school feeling.

No new is good news

No news is supposedly good news

But the silence is deafening.

My confidence is lessening and developing into chariness, wariness.

Irritation: silence is not golden and I’m beholden to anxious thoughts.

My information totals to nought.

Caught in the limbo of wanting to know the answer but not wanting to be present to receive it.

Leave it.

Nothing can be done now but wait for the bearer of bad news or the golden ticket.

How annoying this snippet of time seems to consume the present,

When it will simply be a yesterday this time tomorrow.

Until then, time will drag, minds will overturn, and hearts will yearn to learn of the anticlimactic outcome.

A blank sheet

A blank sheet

A void that is devoid of anything

Unyielding

Unwieldy

A cavernous space so overwhelming that remaining stationary is the default.

Expansive and all-consuming

Emptiness ever looming

A blank sheet

A place to embrace everything

Abundance

Ampleness

An opportunity to satisfy the starved senses

Plentiful and accreting
Bountifully leaping

What is a purpose?

Sometimes our purpose is not to be a status or a job.

Not a star on your dressing room.

Not letters after your name.

Not a photograph in a magazine.

Not followers on a social network site.

Not to be the slimmest.

Not to be the happiest.

Not to be the cleverest.

Not to be the richest.

Not to dwarf another’s purpose.

Not to be the benchmark for all that is wrong.

Sometimes our purpose is to be the shoulder.

Lend the ear.

Offer the cup of tea.

To just sit and say nothing. 

You’re often much better than you think.

You’re often much better than you think.

Confidence should never make you shrink, or smirk or believe

You have ideas above your station.

It is all simply ratiocination.

Mutiny the scrutiny.

Dare to flirt with the inert assumption that you are better than average.

Savage the critical bore, who thinks it law to vogue a self-deprecating mode.

Self-effacing is the worst pretention.

Self-embracing is worth the mention.

There is nothing wrong with being you.

You can be much better than you let yourself think. 

One man's treasure

A decision is always made,

you just come to terms with it.

The sun is always there

but sometimes its rays are warmer.

You may be standing still

but the Earth is constantly turning

The stars up in the sky

took years to reach your eyes.

An object is never discovered

just simply found.

A theory is never invented

but noticed.

Time never stops

only in your perception.

One person’s funeral

could be another’s birthday.

Your soul never alters

just the body that houses it.

One man’s junk

is another man’s treasure.

Mary, mary

I only wanted the offer so I could have first refusal.

I just wanted to be first, so I can have a perusal.

My garden only grows with silver bells, and cockleshells,

And some pretty maids all in a row.

Oh, what a bore it would be, to be straightforward and see

No fun in a conflicting answer.

My traditional patterns say one thing but I decide on another,

The genuine response is undercover.

It is best not to guess why I enjoy messing and just accepting will be less stressing on your brain.

Bamboozle your noodle.

Refrain from applying logic to my ever-changing status.

It makes no sense but purely gives me comfort.

Leave me be and I’ll revert back at some point. 

The greater gain

The greater gain justifies the total effort expended.

What that that exact aim is now, it is uncertain. Never-ending.

Is the constant slog worth the futile light?

Hindsight would say most definitely,

Foresight would say maybe, questionably.

‘It’s the taking part that counts’ – not quite.

It is the small outcomes and the subsequence, the end of the chapters that are significant.

Simple involvement is not the magnificence.

Milestones, achievements are what we remember. What we aspire to and inspire.

What is the point of anything, if there is no context?

Why not do something for the greater good?

If you could you would but you apparently can’t, so you won’t.

Selfishness is a lonely island.

Altruism is a schism to egotism.

Karma is its ally, ready to return the favour.

Behaviour is not quarantined, it accumulates.

One day it will be tallied and will be married to your fate.

So the greater gain will somehow justify the effort expended.

The ended is explained. 

Persistence

I, like many other people, am a creature of habit. I’m not just referring to personal habits but emotional habits. When I encounter certain situations, I go through a default pattern of behaviour, which is safe and comforting as I know it has sort of worked in the past and it does not deviate into risky territory where I cannot predict the outcome. I know I had commented before that we should all be riskier in our behaviour but that is far harder when you are dealing with emotional matters.

Thanks to some friends, I recently deviated from a usual pattern of behaviour and took things to a different route; namely, I actually said how I felt and confronted an issue (which I normally would avoid). It was not an easy thing to do and I regretted the confrontation immediately afterwards. However, once time had passed and I was able to reflect more of what I did, I was far more satisfied than I would have been if I took my default position of being a compliant door mat. The outburst (and it was a big blaze of apoplectic rage) has also allowed me to disconnect from the situation and be objective about it. Somehow, the over emotional outpouring has meant I now do not have any emotion towards the issue – and it is really rather freeing! I could even say I feel a bit smug. So in my smugness, I have added a few quotes about persistence and tenacity, as it really does pay to be persistent sometimes. Even if is just to feel self-righteous for a moment….

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent

-- Calvin Coolidge

Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.

-- Bill Bradley

Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.

-- F. Scott Fitzgerald

Nought

I was in fact better than I used to feel

And not as bad as I once thought,

But was is the point of this reveal

When it all amounts to nought?

Hindsight is the developed photo of the now forgotten event.

It is the crocodile tears, years after the lament.

Remembering is futile, nothing will ever change.

Fate has a way to make life’s quirks rearrange.

Memories are the inmates of your mind,

Their shackles are your synapses.

Freedom is the passing of time

As it lapses, and lapses, and lapses.

When will your thread be cut?

Maybe one should not dwell.

Just continue to fall under this spell

And not fall into a rut. 

Lacklustre mood

Deflated, deflated and vaguely irritated

At my completely lacklustre mood.

Nothing is ‘wrong’ yet nothing is right,

Darkness is starting to brood.

I don’t like this feeling that’s slowly creeping further into my psyche.

Preying on my gaiety, honing on the joviality,

Staining and bleaching the brightness,

Until they are dreary

and heavy

and lethargic

and dull.

Part of me surrenders to the gloom,

Relishing the self-wallowing, self-pitying state of boredom.

Selfishness avails in this castaway psychological island.

Dark clouds constantly loom above.

Sadness leads to madness and makes you feel drabness.

Ride the crest of these choppy waves until the storm passes.

Once the sea has settled, set your anchor and let the breeze comb your hair.

Stillness. Peaceful.  

Winter

Days like these are more like endless nights,

You forget the sun once shone.

The pretence of hibernation, yet I’m awake.

It’s nice to have the seasons but that thought doesn’t warm me when I’m chilled to the bone.

Wrapped up like an onion, layer upon layer of insulation.

Movements like a doll that won’t bend.

One consolation: the cold gives you carte blanche for copious amounts of hot chocolate.

Calories will be burnt in the winters chill.

All too soon in the distance future,

The days will be longer and warmer, the nights balmy and restless.

And I’ll reminisce, and long for one of those crisp, cosy days.

Not quite yet though. 

Experience, as in living.

I was speaking to a friend the other day and they said something really poignant which I wanted to post. We were discussing life experiences and having a varied career and general experiences and he commented that "life is about never standing still: the present is only ever temporary, so we should have enough memories of the past to help us through – more new things, more memories." I thought that was such a good message that I wanted to put it on my blog. 

I was then inspired to look at more quotes about experience that may also inspire you. I hope they do, as a New Year is time to reflect and declutter your life (but I think we should be doing that all year round, not just in January), so I hope I have helped you to view life in a different perspective. 

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. 

 -- Soren Kierkegaard 

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. 

 -- Oscar Wilde 

The value of experience is not in seeing much, but in seeing wisely. 

 -- William Osler 

Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you. 

 -- Aldous Huxley 

Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance which a wastrel cannot exhaust. 

 -- Karl Kraus 

Experience has shown, and a true philosophy will always show, that a vast, perhaps the larger portion of the truth arises from the seemingly irrelevant. 

 -- Edgar Allan Poe 

Initial is superficial

Superficial is saturated but your soul is starving.

Life needs recharging, not your iPod.

Expensive trinkets look the part but it doesn’t matter when your heart’s not in it.

External is infernal sorrow.

Internal is eternally hollow.

Tomorrow comes too quickly because you drunk away today.

Your OMGs and WTFs seem less impressive on the screen.

It’s well reem or is that jel?

Jel of the girl who has some substance and ignores the nonsense.

What’s the sense in learning stuff?

Spell check can be your grammar

And the internet can be your general knowledge.

Common sense is so, like common, so you totes don’t need it.

Just can buy it, it will be cheaper that way.